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Mom Life

I’m Struggling as a Mom Every Day

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I Struggle As a Mom Every Day on a transparent white background with a picture of an african american woman wearing a baby with her small daughter beside her

I’m struggling as a mom every single day.

There I said it.

Most days I wake up and I’m feeling like,

“Yes, today is going to be amazing, I’m going to be amazing and my kids are going to be EVEN MORE amazing!”

Fast forward thirty minutes… I’m irritated by forgotten clothes on the bathroom floor and shoes we cannot find. A snowball begins that is hard to stop at that point…the day is ruined and now I see every fault not just in myself, but in my kids.

Why won’t they pick up their clothes off the floor…?

I’ve asked them to take care of that one million times a day…

But then again, why am I not a good enough mom to just pick up the clothes off the floor with a smile on my face and with no ‘attitude’ what’s so ever, (as my mom would say.) And there it is…

Why am I struggling as a mom?Click To Tweet

Everyone is always saying…”Girl, I don’t know how you do it with four kids!’’

(Ha! Neither do I!)

via GIPHY

 

You’re such a good mom, you’re always taking your kids places and hosting activities!’’

(At the cost of most of my sanity…)

Feeling down and out over some clothes on the floor is just the tip of the iceberg on why I’m definitely struggling as a mom.

There are most certainly other things that happen in my life that make me feel like I’m struggling as a mom and unworthy of these little beings that I’ve birthed.

  • I don’t cook every day. When I do, I don’t always include a veggie…When I don’t…it’s even worst…I take them to McDonald’s for nuggets that I think are chicken…I think. Let’s not talk about the burgers.

  • I shout. Quite a bit. I now understand when my mom use to complain that she felt like a broken record. Apparently, this is hereditary…I am now the broken record and must repeat myself a bajillion times a day. The volume helps me get the point across…I think.

(Disclaimer: I’m working on implementing some woo-sah tricks into my day. See how I Bring Zen to My Den!)

via GIPHY

  • My house is all kinds of disorderly. There’s always a pile of clothes that need to be folded on the couch and my kitchen floor should be mopped daily. (*Note to self, get a Swiffer.)

  • I allow my kids to play the Xbox for obscene amounts of time, especially on the weekends/holidays.

  • I giddily look forward to the kids leaving for school and the 2-year-old going to the babysitter 90% of the time. The other 10% I just don’t feel like getting up to get them ready for school or the babysitter.

  • I can get lost in my cell phone on Facebook for…I’d rather not say… It’s a getaway from the noise and hubbub around me. Not gonna lie, I’m also lurking on friend’s pages that I have not seen since high school observing their seemingly perfect lives, with their perfect family all while maintaining a BEAT TO THE GAWDS face! I’m a bit jelly sometimes…can you tell?

  • And the thing that makes me the worst…sometimes, I go in my bedroom, sit on the bed and I’m feeling like such a failure and I cry because for goodness sakes…I am not cut out for this whole mom thing.

 

As I’m listing some of these things, I know it sounds like I might be being a bit over the top.

These ‘failures’ for me as a mom, can feel SO BIG depending on what time of day you catch me.

As a mom, I have been given these little people that depend on me and will eventually populate the world and make it a better place (I NEED them to make the world better!) and it’s my responsibility to make sure that I get them ready for this world.

And how can I do that from my room, crying and feeling inadequate?

Ok, ok, my panic/pity rant is done. But let’s face it…

Mom’s chime into the comments if you can agree or disagree or have more to add…Mom’s make the world go ‘round.

We’re here for the challenge day in and day out.

The challenge can be something as small as conquering laundry and making sure the kids are clean and presentable on the way out to school…all while juggling other responsibilities, like remembering to schedule well checkups and dentist appointments.

We’re here for it!

We’re here for all the challenge of appearing to be normal, put together, totally positive mom while slaying sleepless nights, stuffy noses, homework with the dreaded CORE curriculum, fashion emergencies, braces…there are so many challenges.

And thru out these challenges, there’s nothing that has comforted me more than to pick up the phone and hear my best friend say,

“We’re dealing with the same ish over here!”Click To Tweet It felt so good to be reminded that I’m not the only one struggling as a mom in my journey. No one is getting it all right, all the time.
African american mom giving side kiss to her little baby's forehead. She is not struggling as a mom.

So, I’m just here to say out loud,  I’m not a failing a mom. I am doing the best I can. If you’ve ever felt like a failure at any point in your mom journey, you are not alone in this and if you think you are alone then you need to send me a message. We’ll be quick friends and I’ll say it again, YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

via GIPHY

If you’re feeling brave, please leave a story or comment about a #TotalMomMoment you’ve had and how you get thru your #MomChallenges

Hey Ya'll! I'm a mom of four very energetic kids. My day revolves around balancing a work at home job, managing a business with my husband AND a blog meant to inspire moms to slay their goals! When I'm not super mommin' , I love to sip a margarita and gab on the phone with my two business besties.

This article has 41 comments

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  2. Mary Leigh

    Being a mom is tough work! Keep your head up. It sounds like you have your kids’ best interests at heart and you’re doing well! Hope your week is off to a good start!

  3. Kaite

    Loved it! I am a new mom of almost 6 months; I feel so alone even though my boyfriend helps me a lot of the time since I have no baby experience and he loves kids (lucky me). I have post partum depression and anxiety that my family sometimes doesn’t understand so I often feel like im a horrible mom. So thanks for writing that its nice that im not the only one who feels that way.

    • Kanani B.

      Hey Kaite! First of all, thank you for sharing that with me! It’s amazing to connect with other mothers bc it DOES feel lonely sometimes 🙁 PPD and anxiety are things that sometimes, people just don’t think it exist. It does! You’re not a horrible mother for it, I promise. Don’t feel alone Kaite…I have a FB group, I’d love for you to join. Here’s a link and hopefully some access to other moms who ‘get it.’ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1016521501818550/

  4. Larissa B

    You are so amazing and awesome, Words can’t explain how proud of you Kanani!!! Keep aiming high and continue on with the great work in your journey of elevation.

    …That was deep right. LOVE YOU BUNCHES

    • Kanani B.

      Thanks Riss <3 I told you I'd launch this 😉 Love you bunches!
      (And yes, that was deep…have you been in the tequila?)

  5. Kkiiaa

    U have hit so many mom’s life. First, being the mother of 4…..is serious, but when one of the 4 is austic….now that’s something serious. U don’t know what the next second is going to be. I sit back at times and wonder how I made it though the day. But thanks for sharing and speaking for us mother of 4.

    • Kanani B.

      Thank you for your support and just overall ACCEPTANCE! I have no experience on raising a child with autism but I do know, you’re an amazing mom and probably have so many lessons for other mom’s out here, too! If you’re ever feeling like sharing an experience about your #MomJourney, please let me know! Would love to collab!

  6. Desiree Rivera

    Dearest bestfran since high school I love you so much. Reading this makes me love and admire you more and more. You are one of thee greatest mother’s and people I Kno. Your perfect to those Rugrats you have. You will raise great humans( cuz right now their animals). Lol. I love you and and happy to take this journey of motherhood with you

    • Kanani B.

      I just knew you’d be the first person that actually KNEW me to support me! I love you so much and thank you <3 <3 <3

  7. Melissa

    I love how real you are! It’s not easy but it’s even harder to make it look so good!

  8. Wndy

    This is such a heartfelt post! Although I don’t have any kids of my own I do take care of my goddaughter and other family members and sometimes it does become overwhelming and we as women are always hard on ourselves when in actuality we are doing a superb job!

  9. Christie Moeller

    Totally not failing! Moms make the world go round just like anything else there are good days and bad days!

    xoxo Christie
    http://icanstyleu.com/blog/

  10. Chrisy at Curly Girl & Her Blog

    This is my life at least 95% of the time. I now have to meditate just to detox from my day to day. Thank you so much for this because sometimes I feel like I am alone.

  11. Christine

    Human and real. Thanks for being so refreshingly honest.

  12. jamesrcsmith

    I know exactly what you mean. As a Dad, I feel the same way. Am I bad for putting on the TV for a minute evoke I make dinner? Am I failing because I give my baby a couple of rice crackers to stop her crying? I hope not

  13. Tara Teng

    This was really refreshing. Thanks for being so honest!

  14. Dshaunte.mcknight@yahoo.com

    Yes, I love everything about this post. The struggle of mom life is real. I have a pile of laundry on the couch now that will likely set a few more days while I catch up on other things. I know we beat ourselves up sometimes, but I think we are all doing pretty good.

  15. Cassie @ Be Forever Healthier

    Love your post and love your site! I don’t have children but I think you are giving an extremely important message here that we need to stop being so hard on ourselves! Your children are very lucky to have a mother like you 🙂

  16. Ashlee G.

    I might only be a youngish kid, so I cannot relate directly, but I do come from a big family. A family of seven to be exact, with all four of my siblings younger than me. Sometimes I sit and wonder, “How on earth can my mom handle all this?” They are close in age, wild, and well, children. So kudos to you for being able to handle it! And remember, sometimes the best solution is to take a deep breath, sip some tea, and relax. No, you might not be perfect, but no mother or father is. You are going to make mistakes, you might regret a few things, but it is a part of learning. Your kids will grow up to love you no matter what, so keep on going through the motions. I wish you the best of luck, and thank you for sharing!

    • totallymommedit

      Ashlee, what a good perspective! I hope my kids look at me like that when they get older! Also make sure you tell you Mom that you noticed all that hard work she was doing 😉

      • Ashlee G.

        Thank you! I have no doubt your kids will, it’s all in due respect for what you have done for them. Yes, I will surely let my mom know all her hard work!

  17. nicolepapageorge

    aww Im not a mom yet (hopefully not for a long time) but you go girl! I am sure when the time comes I would be feeling the same way, we are all human.

  18. Jeanette

    I think you can never be ready for the motherhood. I have three kids and still learning new things. It’s not pink fluffy clouds every day, but in the same time I can’t imagine a life without them 🙂

    • totallymommedit

      Everything except one of the most important jobs in the world has a how to handbook. LOL! Seriously, though, I don’t know what I’d do without these kiddos!

  19. chasitykwilliams

    This was awesome. I’m not a mom yet, but I’m the oldest of 6 kids and watched my mother handle it (not always with a smile on on her face, or without an attitude, but looking back I understand why! Lol)! Still to this day, I don’t see how she did it! Im so grateful for her and I’m sure your kids are grateful for you too!

    Love your blog so far! I know you’ll do great things with it!

  20. carolinethompsonoc

    You’re a woman warrior!!

  21. fashioneily

    I am not a mom but i am already asking myself a lot of questions! Am I going to be a good mom? Am I ready?

  22. Keeya Streeter-Waldon

    Can totally relate to your thought! I am still struggling with myself. I am hard on myself because being a mom is hard, but being a single mom is especially hard! So I debate whether I am a good mother all the time! I am grateful for my children who tell me they love me. Thanks for sharing your story.

    • totallymommedit

      Thank you for sharing that Keeya! When my kids put my face in their hands and say, I love you Momma, it’s all worth it!

  23. Roketa

    You just described my life! I thought it would get better as my kids got older, but they just started arguing more and being more frustrating … just today I reminded my daughter (for the millionth time) to clean her room, especially the hair she has combed onto the floor, and my son is on attitude central, sometimes I stay away from him on the weekends if I really, truly want my good morning to continue longer than 30 minutes lol

  24. Pingback: How to Bring Zen to Your Den…Of Kids! – Totally Mommed It!

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